In May 2014, I find a job on a Jobsite. The position is a Research Scientist at Quantum Gravity Research, California. In the job description, it says that they are looking for an outside-the-box thinker to join their team. They study consciousness at quantize spacetime level, a scale called Planck’s scale. I didn’t know that people also study consciousness from the physics point of view. More than the job details, the outside-the-box thinker interests me. Like I’m the one they are looking for. At the time, I’m in department giving the final exam. I’m teaching Wave, an advanced undergraduate course.
When I get home, I also tells Ayisha. She is also anxious for us. I have applied to many places but no luck. Ayisha also helps me in job search. Everyday she sends me several emails of teaching positions in colleges. She knows I’m not motivated for applying to jobs. Today I’m very excited as this look like a dream job. She is also happy. It is an afternoon. I’m thinking how to write the email but I cannot comprehend it.. Later at night, I’m sleepy but I also want to apply to job before next morning. I write:
This email is in regard to the Research Scientist position that is currently available at Quantum Gravity Research. As my enclosed resume will show, my research interests span over several aspects of theoretical physics. Currently, I’m a Ph.D. candidate. I will be defending over this summer. During Ph.D., I used Entropic Inference to address some conceptual difficulties that arise in the interpretation of Quantum Mechanics.
However, here I would like to briefly introduce myself in way that might not be so obvious from my resume. Rather than to start with my strength, I would like to address my weakness. Despite that fact that I’ll be a Ph.D. soon, I do not apply for jobs so much, as I do not find the right place. I assume that I may not be the best fit. I may end up doing odd jobs, while at the same time I’ll independently continue working on some fundamental problems in theoretical physics that bother me most of the times. Whenever I write an independent paper I post it on Arxiv. Sometimes even the Arxiv refuses to publish my papers.
Long story short, I don’t like doing research in a conventional way. I explore the possibilities that might be forbidden by the standard physics and mathematics. I always think outside-the-box, and that is the main reason why I’m applying for this job.
Ayisha always asks me to show her email before sending especially when I’m manic. Today she was sleeping when I sent the email. Two days later in the afternoon, I receive a phone call from Quantum Gravity Research (QGR) that I’m selected for the interview. The interview is set up for June 17.
I know they selected me, for the outside-the-box thinker. Now I have to show them the outside-the-boxness. The best thing to show them would be my monologues. So, I write a paper. The title of the paper is, “My Monologues”. The abstract is: “My monologues are ways of talking to myself. Here are few of them. They are written without context.” Each monologue is numbered. The first monologue is: “The universe is created and destroyed by humans.” The second one is a poem: “Idea was created first/ Then language/ Then geometry/ Then math/ And then so on/ Who created the Who, who created idea and then everything? / Think about it! In total, there are 61 monologues in the paper. Before leaving, I show the paper to my psychiatric. He says I better not take this with me. I take it anyway.
Ayisha is also happy. Our future may change. She and Ryan are also going with me. I requested them to come with me. I get confused at the airports.
**
One day prior to the interview, we arrive at LAX airport, Los Angeles. Sherzad – who was my classmate in Peshawar University – picks up us from the airport. We stay with him. He also takes us to the interview place next day. The place is in Topanga. When we are drive though the beautiful mountainous valley of Topanga, it reminds me the dry mountains of our Khyber Pass. Ayisha is also dreaming; it would be so wonderful to get a job here. There are beautiful houses on the top of the hills.
The interview takes place in the conference room. Ayisha, my friend and Ryan wait for me outside Three people are on the panel. The director is in shorts and is very friendly. Since they work on consciousness, I drag them in my own theory of consciousness. The universe only has consciousness if created by humans. I begin with the thought experiment when Mr. Monologue enters in Danish’s office and all that. The director asks the same what I though many years: How he could jump from utopia in to the real world? For which I have no answer. The other questions are about my Ph.D. and how would I apply my expertise to solve problems in quasicrystalline structure of space time. Their main idea is that spacetime is quasicrystalline at Plack’s scale
When the interview ends, I cannot wait to smoke a cigarette. Ayisha was enjoying the place taking picture. She looks beautiful in the red dress. After the interview, we go to Malibu beach. It reminds me favorite the TV show Two and a Half Men which is set in a Malibu beachhouse.
When we are leaving Malibu area, we see the Hollywood sign on a mountain from one highway. It makes me psychotic. Mr. Monologue revolutionizes the world and dies at the end and then re-emerges another time. Every time he vanishes because of his supernatural power. He uses it. He burns and the whole cosmos takes fire. The world again evolves. He appears at the end and end it. Lastly he finds a solution to save the universe from collapsing.
He turns the world into Hollywood. Rules are bent in Hollywood. The opposite of Hollywood is CERN where the laws remain in effect. Hollywood is heaven and CERN is hell. Life exists in heaven and death in hell. The sinners in hells are stars of heaven. They illuminate the paradise. Mr. Monologue is an entertainer in Hollywood. He is in late 80, wearing a three-piece suit and carrying two pistols. He last joke is always to open fire on himself starting from head to toes. He is then taken on a stretcher with broken mouth.
**
I follow up one week after the interview. The response is:
Hi, Shahid, we will be going with another candidate. We are sorry for the delay in responding and thank you for your follow up.
We all liked you very much and I notice that you “think spherically” and are not be rigid in your mind, which is key to this work.I would like to suggest that you check in with us religiously every 90 days. We may have opportunities for you in the future.
Mr. Monologue 
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