I Saw Him When I Denied Him

It is very disturbing when you are an atheist and you are having spiritual experiences. How could you submit to God when you don’t believe in His very existence? And how could you deny Him when sometimes He shows Himself to you in the eastern light and sometimes in western light. How could you deny Him when the love of Him makes you so drunk?

From time to time I had spiritual experiences. It comes in two forms – denial and submission. Each time I write quotations or what should be called journaling. In the state of denial, I write about physics or mathematics and when I write in the state of submission, I feel like someone is talking through me. Denial makes me stronger, but submission makes me fearful. In denial, I prove theorems or come up with new theories, and in submission, my writing is more poetic. I’ll leave what I note during denial as it involves mathematics. Here I note what write during submission:

1. I saw Him when I denied Him.
2. On a small piece of paper, I wrote your story. I then tweeted it everywhere.
3. Drink alcohol. Listen to music. Deny God. Do all these things but never kick a book.
4. Not only that to ask God for help but to help Him.
5. The universe has a CEO who is also in the loop.
6. I have found my lord. Keep wandering and find yours.
7. I like hell for myself and I wish heaven to you.
8. God is dead, but he can hear.
9. The universe is created from the ashes of God.
10. There are as many realities as people.